Saturday, 28 November 2015

How to help people from committing suicide


I'm sharing this message due to a thread I read last night where it was reported a Nigerian higher Institution student committed suicide after being allegedly told to repeat a year by the school authorities. As the manner is with most Nigerians, the victim was lampooned and mocked by most commenter on the thread, even when they didn't travel in the victim's shoes. Only a few could even type the now-redundant RIP. I pray his soul rest in peace. 


(This true life story was shared by anonymous) 

I've got a somewhat similar experience though I didn't go the extra mile the Nigerian student went. I was withdrawn from my normal shift duty to cover a new project that will require my being on permanent duty for over 3 weeks. I was mandated to draw the HSE plan for the project, conduct safety talks at appropriate intervals and give situation report to my department on a daily basis. On this terrible day, I had gone to the job site even before the contractors had shown up. It was a Tuesday- a black one for that matter. 

When I arrived the site and saw no workers around, I elected to seat with some other workers in a stormshleter- a little building operators seek little comfort whenever there are running the plant. While waiting for my colleagues to show up at the job site, some talks started. It was around money, the Rat Race, Women, etc.....but financial management or the lack of it was the MAIN ISSUE. After listening for some time my consent was sought on the matter. Believe me, I spoke passionately. As I spoke for over 10 minutes, narrating my financial struggle from the day I was employed to the present day, and my beliefs about financial discipline, the role of women in our lives, etc. 
I had this Motorola radio in my hand. It's a means of communication within the department. A lot of top guys are also linked to it. Some managers, senior colleagues, junior ones, even casual workers by proxy are tuned into this departmental channel. Now the radio on me was kinda a little defective and I've improvised on it by tapering it with a tiny binding wire. Somehow the wired rested on the SPEAK knob, and all along, while I thought I was having a discreet convo with some persons, ALL my communications were heard by EVERYONE who was on the HSE channel. Some of the details I had revealed were regrettable mistakes I wouldn't want anyone beyond that group to hear. So far as the binding wire depressed the speak knob, and I didn't know, I was on channel air- interrupting every other call in the channel, in an emergency channel. I didn't know. I later realised mobile calls were made by my superiors to my mobile phone but I hadn't seen them as the phone was on SILENT mode, hidden away in my coverall. All attempts to have me stop was of no effect. 

All this while the contractors had not arrived for work. I've found another work. LOL! Firemen and other HSE professionals were dispatched to physically stop my programme. SMH. I knew there was some troubles when I saw a team of firemen running towards me in a manner similar to their response to a fire emergency. I looked around and didn't spot any fire in the operational area. One of them was even laughing. They motioned for my radio and removed the binding wire, stopping my programme. SMH. When they told me what happened, I almost dropped dead. My blood pressure rose; my heart tripled it's rate, my feet quaked, my mood dropped and I wished the Earth would open up and had me swallowed. 

My God! What have I done to myself? I've shared on radio issues I'll consider too personal. The shame, The embarrassment. Will my colleagues even stop mocking me? Why? I wished I hadn't come to work that day. I had never felt such pressure. The pressure almost choked me. How do I go to face my colleagues? My superiors? How do I erase these details from the minds of my colleagues? How do I go back to the control room? No one could describe the pressure I felt. 
When the pressure became too much, I had to distract myself and play some Enya music like Caribbean blue, Orinoco Flow, etc, to relax me. The more I tried, the more my mind wondered back to the issue. Immediately, I felt what most suicide victims felt before committing suicide. Once in my lifetime, I had found myself in their shoes and it wasn't palatable in the least. 

Ours is a society that has failed to try to understand depression and people. We suddenly become experts at advice whenever people commit acts that we feel were improper. We don't mind abusing and denigrating them even when we've not understood their struggles, depression, anxiety and deep worries. We simply condemn; we simply attack. 

If I had done the worst, the extreme, God forbid, the same attacks would have landed on me. SMH. Now, I'm NOT in any way supporting or encouraging suicide; I'm simply saying we should endeavor to show sympathy and empathy to people whenever they can't seem to handle the pressures of life and quit. 
Whatever you're passing through at the moment, don't give up. There's still hope and life ahead. There's still light at the end of the tunnel. When pressures seem too tough, seek a true friend and confide in, OR seek some other means of relieving the pressure. It could be some serene sort of music. Don't just give up. Suicide is a temporal solution to a permanent problem. Think about your loved ones and the pains and gloom they'll experience. 

Man that's born of a woman is of few days and full of trouble. Job 14:1. But with determination and patience, all worries and sadness will give way to peace, serenity and joy. And when you observe a person to be in deep depression, don't judge them. Simply help them. A word could save a soul. Call and encourage that friend passing through unemployment, marital crisis, temporal barrenness, admission delay, etc. Give someone a hug. Send an email. A text message could also suffice. 

God bless you all. And have a great day. 
Good morning. Please, let's share; it could save a soul.


Source: Nairaland

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